It's Been A Long Week!!

 This post is going to be short because really it's beautiful out and I want to enjoy my day instead of inside writing a bunch of stuff. With that let's get started!

I didn't post last week because honestly, even though I lost two pounds, I wasn't feeling up to it. The week before my anxiety was a little high. There was a lot going on at work and home, and with my house. So my doctor started me on a new medication to help. Well it didn't help.

Honestly, it was the worst. 

At first I thought it was my hormones because the week before my hormones sparked alive for the first time since I started treatment for my PCOS. I take medication to limited my hormones activity to help the symptoms, plus my weight made it so I don't get periods anymore. Well, I have lost close to 50 pounds and my body is starting to heal itself. Meaning my periods are back. 

Yay. . .NOT!!

Believe me, I'm not happy about it. It's a double edged sword really. Plus I haven't dealt with hormones in seven years so I figured my mood last weekend was caused by that. I was rather depressed, tired, and in general worn out. So no post, in fact I didn't do much of anything.

Come Monday morning I knew something was really wrong. Not only did I wake up depressed, but it was a depth of depression I haven't had since 2018. IT WAS BAD!!!

I spent the fifteen minutes before everyone arrived at work crying. Not like silent tears down the cheeks, crying. But full on sobbing. And for the first time since 2018 I thought about harming myself. I was in a very dark place. On top of that I was dizzy, my brain function felt very off, and I honestly don't remember much from Monday at work. Everything is very very hazy. On top of that I felt so guilty for making everyone worry about me

Because, as I found out, my friends at work were very worried. And I get it. I wasn't acting myself and honestly I was afraid for myself as well. However, not to worry. I have a wonderful husband and amazing friends that were my support through everything, and I got through fine. 

I had put in a call to my doctor about my new medication because that was the only thing that changed. I had nothing that would have triggered me or anything. She didn't get back to me right away but I wrote her an email stating I was not going to take the medication anymore. I am very thankful I didn't.

By late Monday night my depression was improving. Tuesday I woke up mentally I was good. Far better than I was the day before, but I could feel. I had been through something major. So I took the day off to recover. I mostly slept, did some chores around the house, and by the afternoon I was back to my old self. I was cooking a big pot of chili for dinner. 

I was so damn thankful for it just being the medication. By that time my doctor had gotten back to me and was really worried. She really thought the Zepbound was effecting me, but I explained to her that everything was good once I stopped the new medication. 

Now I did have some side effects of going off the meds. Like a random headache for a few days afterword, but it wasn't bad. The thoughts about hurting myself were gone, expect I had this phantom feeling of a hair on the right side of my nose. It was annoying for about a day but then it was gone.

The next day I woke up with a sore nose. The side of my nose where it felt like the hair was had turned red and there was a little sore on it. I was like, what the hell is going on?

I went to work thinking I just rubbed it in my sleep too much. However; when I got to the road at my work I turned my head to the right to watch traffic and my lymph node along my jaw was completely swollen. 

Okay, what the actual hell? 

I just got over this depression thing and now this? 

As the day went on the redness got worse and so did the feeling of it being chapped. Also my lymph nodes along my neck swelled. I thought it was something with my sinuses because I have chronic ear infections and sinus problems. 

That night I took a hot shower, and made it so the warm water ran down my swollen lymph nodes. It really seemed to help. It felt amazing, and I woke up the next morning and my neck nodes felt fine. BUT my nose was worse, the whole right side of my face itched, and the node along my jaw was HUGE! Not only that but the one under my chin was now swollen.

So that is where I am at today. My face isn't as itchy, but my nose is still a dry mess. It hasn't gotten any worse or better really, my lymph nodes are still swollen and my doctor wants to see me for an appointment tomorrow. Yay!

In generally I fell apart this week, and it feels like I can get a leg up on anything at this point.

BUT. . .

I did lose two more pounds!!!! So I am down to 262.8 lbs.!!! That is only 82 lbs. away from my goal!

I will take it. It's all about the little wins!